My darling husband, the infamous Mr. D. coined a phrase a number of years ago. He came up with this expression after observing women over an extended period of time. He believes woman (maybe not all but many of us) suffer from “chick guilt.” He says this affliction cause us to apologize profusely over things, lots of things, many of them out of our control. Someone comments that it’s raining outside & we say, “I’m sorry!” Why? Are we responsible for the rain? We do this apologizing frequently throughout the day. When I speak at conference & retreats, occasions when I spend a significant amount of time with women, I tell them about chick guilt & suggest that, over the course of the event, they listen for other women expressing chick guilt & gently, very gently call them out on it. Believe me, it is an eye opening experience! Before long, women are calling THEMSELVES out on it! But enough of that.
I bring up chick guilt as an example of how hard women tend to be on themselves. I know men can be hard on themselves but we really tend to beat ourselves up. Over the course of my adult life, I have held jobs where my co-workers were mostly men. In fact, on 2 occasions, I was the only woman in my workplace. The men I have spent time around do not beat themselves up over things. When they make a mistake, they blow it off & move on. They might apologize but then again they might not. I’m not criticizing, just making an observation. Why, you ask? Good question.
These last few days I have been rather discouraged. One of those situations where a number of things happened all at once, things that, by themselves probably would not have bothered me but occurring all in the span of a few day, well, they brought me down. This led to refection. Not a good thing when you are down. As I considered where I’ve been, where I am & where I want to be, that’s when the gloves came off & I began beating myself up. I tried to get at the heart of my problem but couldn’t… until tonight. That’s when I realized my problem was the word “Too!” I was using it much to often & in all the wrong ways.
“I’m TOO old!”
“It’s TOO late for me!”
And perhaps the very worst one:
“I’m TOO scared!”
Oh, there are more TOO statements but you get the idea & I’m not going there! Instead, I’m finding a new TOO!
“I’m TOO experienced to let anything stand in my way!”
“I have TOO much to offer women to stop now!”
“I’m TOO smart to let my fear slow me down!”
Too can be way too harsh but it can also be very uplifting. You must simply decide which too is right for you. If I can do it, you can TOO!